Gay or Lesbian Roommate Advice
Quick question: There's been a lot of conversation on here about gay, lesbian, bisexual roommates. I know a lot of heterosexual roommates worry that a gay roommate might hit on him or her. What's the best way for a heterosexual roommate to approach this concern? Is it a real concern? Would love your insight...
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jacob Simon on -
I had this situation as an RA and the straight resident went about it in a completely wrong way. He starting talking about his gay roommate behind his back to EVERYONE and it was some very hurtful things. He did all of this without even talking to his roommate. The gay roommate didn't even know there was a problem until someone else brought it up to him. My advice for straight roommate is to give respect to the LGBT roommate. Don't get all offensive and especially don't start talking about it to everyone else. If you aren't comfortable talking directly to your roommate alone, you can talk to your RA. That's why we are here. We can give you tips for how to bring it up, or even go with you when you want to talk about it.
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Permalink Reply by Ashley on -
That's cold. If it's not an issue, it shouldn't be made into one. I guess that was probably a defense tactic so that no one got the idea that he was gay, but it was completely cold and wrong. It seems to me like the hetero roommate should be respectful and shouldn't jump to such huge conclusions. The gay/lesbian roommate might also ease some of the tension by saying that he or she isn't interested if he/she really isn't.
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Permalink Reply by Jacob Simon on
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Exactly what I thought when we (myself and our Head Resident) met with both roommates. Disclosing with the other what is to be expected is a huge part of what needs to happen. Come to find out that neither roommate had the others cell phone number so there was no way to warn when one would have a "friend" stay over...
Let this be an example on what NOT to do!
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Permalink Reply by Kira on -
THEY DON'T WANT YOU!!! thats my philosophy, get off your high horse. Unless they outright say do you want to go on a date, do you wanna try this out. leave them alone chances are they dont want you and they probably have their eye on some other LGBT person
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Permalink Reply by Kristen Nicole on -
I would just keep in mind that just because someone is gay, doesn't mean that he or she is attracted to everyone that is the same sex. Just like people who are straight, they aren't going to have a crush or hit on everyone of their gender of preference. If a roommate actually is hitting on you, then you might want to just be like "hey, I'm flattered, honestly, but I don't really roll that way." But I mean otherwise, give the roommate respect and just try and get along.
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Permalink Reply by Mia Venuti on -
Going behind the gay roommate's back and talking about them to other people is definitely NOT the way to handle the situation. In the event that you do end up with a gay roommate, don't freak out and begin to think that he/she has a crush on you. Odds are, if they don't mention it out loud, they probably don't. But if you have concerns, take the time to sit down and calmly talk to your roommate. Tell them that you respect who they are, but that you are not interested in a same- sex relationship. And Jacob is right... RAs exist to help with roommate situations, even ones that might be embarrassing, such as this one. Don't be afraid to ask for help... just do it in a way that is respectful.
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