Guy leaving me waiting...HELP! Do I deserve better?
So this guy and I have been talking for like two months now. By talking I mean hanging out and you know a little other stuff.
Anyways, he said after he got back from Maui he would take me on a date.. that never happened. Then Thanksgiving break came around and he said when we got back from that we would go out.. we never did. He always forgets. Annoying! Is he just saying that he will take me on a date so that I stay happy?
Anyways, he had applied to a Grad school in England. Oh, he just graduated from the school I am at. So yeah, he got into the school in England and starts it September, meaning he will be gone for a year. He is also going to be gone for two months pretty soon.
So one night after hanging out, I asked him where he saw us heading. He told me he had been avoiding this question. He said he wouldn't be here much longer, so he wasn't really sure what to do. Which left me thinking, wow you are just using me in a way! But we decided we should still keep things going, he still wants to hangout with me, and that the two months coming up that is he away will put things in perspective for us.
Well the day after that convo, i texted him and got no response. Didn't hear from him the next day. And then the day after that I texted him something and it took him so long to respond, I kind of wished that he didnt and that there would be a good reason for why he didnt.
Well so basically I am going to say it has been four days after our convo about us and I have not talked/texted him. Which is weird cause we always talk, even just for a little bit.
My friends say he is probably thinking about his decisions, but honestly him just ignoring me is causing me so much pain.
What should I do? Should I text him asking him what's up? I feel like he has all the control.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on -
If he is not around now, and wont be around in the future it is prolly best to just move on... I would say I know this from personal experience, but I am going through the same BS myself, but the girl is not moving anywhere, she is just always working or busy or something (i tend to justify too much..) but I have stuck by her for almost a year now, she has me captivated, and I am not sure how things are with you an this guy.. Flip a coin, heads you stay, tails you go, dont worry about what it lands on, worry about what you want it to land on in the air, it will show you what you really want.
Hope this helps, what are your thoughts lol?
-Grant
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on -
Well I had talked to him a couple days ago and he said work has been crazy this past week but by Friday (today) he will be free. But what I am wondering is why he cant just send a simple text checking in, just saying hi or something.
I also want to know why people are so hesitant to start long distance relationships? I mean if you really like the person, is it that hard?
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Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
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You are preaching to the choir here.. I feel the same way..
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
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Well, I have decided to let go of it all... well at least try to. I don't see him making much of an effort, so it wouldn't be worth it if I was doing all the work
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Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
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This is true. Honestly, what is the worst he can do you know? Good luck with it, and let me know how to goes!
Take care,
-Grant
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
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So I am still in this situation, kind of. I was at the gym one day and he came in and the moment I saw him I melted. Like I couldn't get my mind off of him anymore, after working so hard to forget about him. We barely talked and then about 20 mins after I had left he texted me saying how that was awkward and that it was his fault for things being weird.
So we talked for a little bit about things and then the other day I went over to his house and things seemed kinda normal. But of course the whole time I was thinking about things but couldn't get myself to say them out loud to him, which I should have.
-Katelyn
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Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
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I know exactly what you are talking about.. Why don't you just tell him how you feel? Like he is texting you still (its something) and you are still hanging out with him, just tell him how you feel.. Worst comes to worst you wont hang out with him anymore and that was your plan, or at least i believe it was, in the beginning, no?
-Grant
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
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We don't text as often as we used to, and we haven't talked since we saw each other two days ago. I would want to talk to him about it in person, but I never know when the next time I am going to see him is. I guess if worst comes to worst, it was what I was expecting to happen. I guess I am just fighting the part of me that likes knowing that there is someone there who i love being around.
Its like a friend you wouldn't want to lose type situation. But I feel like if I were to talk to him and things were to take a turn in the other direction, I would lose our friendship.
-Katelyn
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Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
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If he is truly your friend, he may see this coming, if he does not have the same feelings, my hopes that he would still want to be friends with you. yes it may be awkward for a few days or a week or whatever, but it will return to normal eventually. It happens to the best of us, rejection is just a part of life, yet for some, it is one of the scariest things out there.
Text him first, ask to hang out or something, even though you may not see this as flirting, it is subtle and lets him know that you want to be around him. It may work, especially considering that you say you cant flirt well.
-Grant
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
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So it wouldn't let me reply to your message, so hopefully you will get this!
He does not go to my school so its not like I will be seeing him everyday for things to be awkward. Which is why I fear that I would lose the friendship because then there really wouldn't be a way to see him and keep the friendship going besides texting.
I had texted him yesterday asking when a good time for him to hangout was, because he was supposed to text me and let me know. But he didn't reply to it, and I haven't heard from him today.
So yeah, next time I get the chance to talk to him in person I am going to tell him how I feel about this whole relationship. And I know it will probably end it tears because this will be done, but I feel like it would be good closure for me.
-Katelyn
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Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
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hmmm it seems there is like a limit on the number of reply's...
Anyways, I know your pain. Going through the same BS myself with a girl. But for almost a year now.. I really do like the girl, she just got out of a bad relationship a few months ago, and I have not heard from her since Christmas eve.. I have tried texting a few times, but idno.. it sucks cause I like her a lot and whatnot. Her birthday was Black Friday, I have yet to see her long enough to give her the gift I picked out and the others that I custom made just for her.. Not much I can do but keep trying, but I just dont want to be overbearing I guess..
Just realize you aren't alone lol.. I would hope that everything goes well for both you and I, but only time will tell.
-Grant
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
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Sorry to hear what you are going through. You have been going through this with a girl for a year now? Must be some special girl. Honestly I have no idea how your head isn't going crazy, but I feel like girls are a little more emotional about things? (I don't really know).
Yeah I hope things turn out for the better for both of our situations!
I'll keep you updated.
-Katelyn
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