Making friends in college can be hard -- friendly freshman needs help!
Dear Harlan,
In high school I was very involved and had a lot of friends however, in college, my only friend is my roommate. I know it is still early considering I am a freshman, but it is really becoming very depressing to think about the lack of social life I have. I don't go out at all on the weekends, instead, I either do homework or go home. During the week, I return to my dorm after going to class and watch stuff Netflix all day. I am not used to this lifestyle at all considering I was very outgoing and social in high school but I don't really know how to change it. I've become very depressed at school. I feel like I am waiting for something to happen that isn't going to. I know this sounds silly but I think it is awkward to go up to people in my hall and attempt conversation because a lot of them have a lot of friends already. Is it normal that I have no friends at this point? What do I do? Thanks a lot.
Friendly freshman
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sean McMinn on -
I completely agree with what Kate said. Someone in my dormitory was in a situation very similar to yours. But he had one friend on our floor that he trusted and told him how lonely he was feeling. That friend then went and told a few caring people how the guy was feeling, and we all made an extra effort to include him. We even threw a surprise pizza party in his room one weekend night! I guarantee there ARE people at your school that want to be friends with you, but they won't find you by themselves. Start small, and soon you'll be on the road to a very social college experience!
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Permalink Reply by Wes Farquhar on -
Unfortunately loneliness is a fact of life that everybody experiences at some point, including the most popular cheerleaders and the most famous actors. It feels like an uppercut when it hits you for the first time, huh? Yep, it's a rite of passage that makes you wanna sit in a dark room and listen to the "Dirty Dancing" soundtrack.
But anyway, I feel for ya. I'm a freshman in college as well, and I moved by myself from a tiny town on the ass end of Georgia to a school with 50,000 students in a city I had never lived in. I played the loner card like you are now while I tried to figure out what in the f*** it was that was going on around me on a daily basis, but I knew that a lot of these kids already had their own little cliques formed up, and they weren't just going to come to me. I'm just starting my second semester, and I have a healthy number of friends now... it's all about being the aggressor. Try starting a conversation with a guy that looks cool in class or cracking a joke to a chick studying in the library, it doesn't matter if most of the people are lame long as you keep trying to find the people that aren't. And join clubs, clubs are great for finding groups of people that are normally in the same situation as you. Do you like photography? Join up. You think glee is cool? Put your name on the roster. Are you down with anime? F*** it! You watched Pokemon when you were little, didn't you? Put your signature down!
If you want to see some changes, you're going to have to take things into your own hands. Just test the waters, man. It takes some getting used to.
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Permalink Reply by GirlyGalTal on -
I promise you that people in college get sick of always hanging out with the same person and I am sure some people would love to add you to their group. Another option is to do something to get noticed...Sometimes you need to do something silly to get notice! Have you a your roommate dress up to go to the cafe one day or decorate your dorm room door. Or just start slow by saying hi to girls in the bathroom or asking people you know what they are up to tonight and act excited about what they are doing and I am sure they will invite you. Or arrange a girls night in your dorm lounge hosted by your roommate and you and put on a girly movie! Just have always fun an smile and people will be drawn to you!
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Permalink Reply by Mia Venuti on -
I would recommend looking for activities to participate in around campus. At my school, we have had many great activities planned, such as movies, concerts, even a life-sized game of LIFE! Clubs are another way of engaging yourself and meeting new people. Colleges have hundreds of clubs to meet the interests of students. If you can't find one that already exists that interests you, apply to start a new one. Who knows, maybe your club will attract people and you'll find an awesome group of friends who share a common interest. And take the time to get to know the people on your hall. I did this, and I've found that all the people I live with are really cool. We have had movie nights together, video gaming sessions, and we often go to dinner with each other. Starting school with few friends can be difficult, but I'm sure that if you follow these recommendations, you will meet some really cool people in no time!
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