MY EX BOYFRIENDS, THAT'S RIGHT 2 OF THEM, ARE AT THE SAME COLLEGE AS ME
My first boyfriend, who is one of my ex-boyfriends now, is attending my college now starting this year. We did not have that great of a relationship, but I am completely over that because I knew I deserved better than him. But how should I act when I see him?
And now my other ex I met last year, during my first year of college. We did not starting going out until the second semester of school and we continued into summer. However, during summer we broke up because he did not want to but any effort into the relationship and we were in a distance relationship. Now back at school this year, I am surrounded by memories of us and I find myself almost everyday crying 'cause of it. We have so many mutual friends that I am always around him, which I don't mind because I love being friends with him. But sometimes I wish I could just turn back time and go back to last year. How am I supposed to deal with this situation too?!
Please help if you can!
(:
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on -
Don't let him see you sweat! Either of them. Remain happy, think positive, and get your butt out there looking for the next guy! They are ex's for a reason. Do not dwell on the past, even though we all do (guilty), move on, leave them behind. You can try making a friendship out of it, but in my experience, they normally fail as well. As for the mutual friends, do what you can to avoid contact from the ex'x if you choose to. Or deal with them. Unfortunately there is not much else you can do, and I apologize for being blunt, I figure it may be more effective than sugar coating it....
-Grant
-
Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on -
This actually helped alot. Thank you for your response. Hopefully this school year goes well!
-
Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
-
Yep! The best you can do is take it day by day. if it gets too hard, try talking to your friends, and maybe you can hang out with them without him, or at least a few of them... Not sure what to tell you beyond that though..
Good Luck!!
-Grant
-
Permalink Reply by Harlan Cohen on -
Give your recent ex permission to be your ex. Give the other guy permission to not be good enough for you. Accept reality and put yourself in new situations with new people. Give the world access to you. Do not the people in the past define your future. Surround yourself with people who love you, respect you, and want you to be happy. Give yourself time to have new experiences. Let them miss you. Never look back. The more you can accumulate without them, the less they and the past will matter. Keep us posted!
-
Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
-
Couldn't have said it better myself!!
-
Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
-
Thank you. Reading this put things in a new perspective for me, and made me realize that will be better now.
-
Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
-
yay!
-
Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
-
My ex ex texted me today saying he saw me in the cafeteria. We have been texting back and forth for a while but I definitely have no feelings for him while doing so, so I am glad I can have a normal conversation with him, and I didn't have to initiate it.
-
Permalink Reply by Grant Posner on
-
Great, seems like thing will be back to normal any time soon! good luck! Let us know how it all goes.
-
Permalink Reply by Amanda Mesirow on -
You'll be fine. You sound like you are putting a lot of focus on these external influences in your life rather than thinking about what YOU want, what is going on in YOUR life, etc. Oftentimes, people aren't even focused that much on us but we're worried they are! I am so glad you realized your first ex was not worth you--go with that. Focus on yourself, what makes you great, and how college can help shape that. When you see him--be civil, but just ignore him. If he isn't part of your life (and doesn't intrude on it) then let him go his way and you go yours.
As far as the other ex, you can always try talking to him if you THINK that will help. Otherwise, it might be good to seek out someone to talk to about the crying every day piece...if this is significiantly impacting your life on a day-to-day basis, it might be good to speak with a counselor about how to manage these issues so you can truly move on and be yourself!
-
Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
-
Thanks for your reply. Your advice means a lot and I am going to take everything you said and try it out. I am slowly getting back to a normal thought process about everything and just going with the flow.
-
Permalink Reply by Katelyn Downing on
-
So I thought everything was getting better, but the last two days have been "low" days for me.
I still miss my ex boyfriend and am constantly thinking back to last year. I just want to go up to him and talk and ask him whats running through his head and if he wishes we could be the same again. I just want to be held in his arms again and I don't want to let go. It's hard when people come up and ask me if I am still going out with him, and seeing my friends with their bf/gf's.
My friend told me I should visit a counselor at school, that taking to someone who doesn't know both sides of the story may help...
© 2012 Created by Harlan Cohen.
