Still Not Settled In
I have been at college for a little over two months now and I am still not completely settled in. I am kind of drifting between different groups of friends, which I know isn't really a bad thing. I have a group of rineds from my floor and my boyfriend is pledging a fraternity so I end up going to parties there pretty often. I just feel so adrift. I feel like I don't have on specific niche that I feel really at home in on campus. I see my boyfriend and how tight he is with his fraternity brothers and I really want that knid of comraderie. What should I do?
Tags: advice, college, involvement, settling
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Naked Editor on -
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Relax. It's only been two months. Finding your niche is what college is all about. You're not supposed to be settled until you're ready to graduate.
What did you do in high school? Where you part of any clubs? Find the corresponding organizations at your college and go to a meeting. From what you've written, you hang out with your boyfriend and in your dorm exclusively. Ask your dorm friends what they do and ask to tag along.
If you've already decided on a field of study, go hang out with professors, grad students, and fellow undergrads (I'm assuming you're an undergrad).
But again, it's only been TWO months. That may seem like a long time, but it really isn't compared to the 4 (give or take) years you'll spend in total.
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Permalink Reply by Naked Editor on
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* migrated reply from Naked Forum 1.0
But the thing is I have gotten involved and I love the activities that I am doing. I still just feel like I am floating between clusters of friends, including those from my activities. Thanks for your advice though.
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Permalink Reply by Naked Editor on
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* migrated reply from Naked Forum 1.0
well there isn't really anything wrong with drifting between friends, like you said. but if your looking for something more permanent, then maybe rush a sorority? like you said you see what your boyfriend has with his brothers and you'd like that then maybe a sorority will do the trick. that way you can still have your groups you drift between but still have one group you really feel close to.
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Permalink Reply by Naked Editor on
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* migrated reply from Naked Forum 1.0
Agreed. I was in this same situation my freshman year. I had a few friends I would hang out with, but it was more out of convenience because we all lived on the same floor than anything else. My college doesn't allow us to rush until sophomore year, and when that time came, I figured I could try it. It turned out being the best decision I ever made at college (besides going abroad!) You become much closer with these girls than anyone could imagine.
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Permalink Reply by Katie R on -
I definitely agree with rushing a sorority, especially if you're looking for a family like the one your boyfriend has. That is what kept me from transferring/dropping out/etc. However.. I think that also can keep you only knowing those girls, so I would also recommend joining a club, maybe related to your interests or major if you have one. The first semester is difficult. It takes more time than that for some people to really feel at home at school.
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