Choosing A College To Be Near Boyfriend Is Just Not Smart

Dear Harlan,

My boyfriend is in college right now, and I'm a junior in high school. The whole college-search thing is going on in my life. My boyfriend would like me to go to his college, but I'm not sure it's really the right school for me. I know that education in my life takes priority over closing the gap between us, but I'm not sure how well long-distance relationships work between colleges. What advice can you give me about maintaining our relationship? Or should I break it off when I go to my own school?

Searching

Dear Searching,

If you were married to this guy and had kids, your boyfriend would matter, but you're not married and don't have kids (right?). Forget you even have a boyfriend during your college search. Honestly, you don't really know if you'll be together in a few months. This thing could end. Should you commit to going where he goes to school and you two break up, you'll end up at a school you don't love with an ex-boyfriend you can't stand to see. Look for a school where you can be your best. Do it for you. Do it for him. This is the very best chance of making this relationship work. If your boyfriend discourages you from going where you can be your best, then find a better boyfriend. As for breaking it off, don't make any plans. See how you feel when it's time to go. If it's not broken, don't break it. Enjoy it while it lasts, and make sure you find the best fit for you - then decide if he still can fit in your life.