Leaving already?

Note: Sorry for the length of this post! I didn't expect to write this much, but once I started I felt like I needed to keep going until an ending came about by itself. But I'd love it if you read all of it and posted any thoughts in the comments, I'd like to say it's an interesting read! All names have been changed in this, as has my room number, as preemptive anti-paparazzi measures. I'll be posting updates on here as I find out more about the situation and how it turns out.

I was initially confused when I got the call yesterday from a restricted number. I almost didn't answer the phone. I was practicing guitar for a performance at open mic night on Friday, and I figured it was just some sales person. But I messed up a chord in the verse of the song and, after a small bit of cursing, I figured, "might as well." With a sigh, I picked up my cell.

"This is Sean."

"Hi, is this Sean McMinn?"

"Yes." Obviously.

"This is Jim Smith from university housing. How would you like to be an RA next quarter?"

"Uh, sorry, did you say next quarter? As in Spring?

"Yeah, someone is leaving then and we need to find a replacement."

---------------------------------------------------

Earlier in the quarter, when I was applying to be an RA for next year, I was given all the usual praise and encouragement by my friends here at Cal Poly.

"I'd be so surprised if you don't get it." "Don't even worry about it, you're a shoe in, Sean." "You're way too qualified not to get it, I couldn't imagine them turning you down."

Whether or not this praise was genuine, it was nice to hear words of encouragement from my friends. And it looks like they were right, as I recently received this call. It was beyond unexpected, and I had no idea what to say.

---------------------------------------------------

"I'm going to be interviewing people for the job next week, and I wanted to know if you are interested in it."

"Oh, well, uh, obviously I'd need to talk about it with my parents and roommate and stuff. If I take the interview am I locked in to accepting the job?"

"Not necessarily, but I need to hire by next Friday so..."

"Oh, okay, I see. Well yeah, I'd love to meet with you. How's next Wednesday work?"

---------------------------------------------------

I hung up the phone in a daze, a rush of emotions making their way to my brain. Would this mean I'd be leaving Yosemite Hall? What about my friends here? The Hall Council, who would take over my job? And that Yosemite t shirt I was planning on buying next week? So much for that. And my roommate?

I looked up from the cell phone, which I didn't even realize I'd been staring at for the past 30 seconds or so, and looked at him. The same shock that was probably apparent on my face was mirrored on his. Apparently he was able to hear the entire conversation, and was just as confused as I was. We've grown pretty close the past 21 weeks of school, would I really just get up and bail on him like that?

---------------------------------------------------

*Cue awkward silence.*

"So...are you going to take it?"

"Uh, I don't know."

---------------------------------------------------

And that was the truth, I honestly didn't know. I love it so much here in Yosemite, and I couldn't imagine just picking up and leaving. I mean, obviously we're all going to move out at the end of the summer, that's a given. But if I took this job, I'd be gone in two weeks. And with finals and Spring break occupying those weeks, they were sure to fly by. 

---------------------------------------------------

*Cue more awkward silence.*

"Well, if you leave, your bed is turning into a couch," he said with a laugh.

Phew, awkwardness broken.

"Ha, yeah, that would be pretty nice for you, wouldn't it?"

---------------------------------------------------

Yeah, it would be nice for him. He'd have room to bring his forty inch TV from home into the room, and would have an entire dorm to himself for the Spring quarter. Honestly, that's not a bad deal, and I'm sure he'd be pretty happy about it. But still, I'm sure he'd, well, not miss me. Guys don't miss each other. But, um, be lonely sometimes? Sure, let's call it that. He'd be lonely sometimes. And I would too, if I took the job.

But this job, it's such a great opportunity. Not only would it pay for my Spring quarter housing/food, but it'd also secure me the RA position next year. And I really do want to be an RA. I want to be able to help freshmen have a great experience in housing (only next quarter I'd be a freshman helping freshmen...), and develop my leadership skills in the process. It's be amazing to be able to start all that a quarter early.

Over the past 24 hours I've told quite a few people about the phone call. That's partly because I want them to know I might be leaving, and partly because that's pretty damn cool. I mean, a freshman being an RA over other freshmen? I've never heard of that happening. And it really is an honor just to be asked to interview for that position. Most of the people I've talked to agree, and laugh at the idea of me being able to document them for violations.

But a lot of them have given me a reaction that I didn't really expect. They actually said they'll miss me. Well, again, not miss. That's not cool. But they'll..um...well, yeah, they'll miss me. Or at least they say they will. And no matter how much I assure them I'll visit when I can, or come back for some Hall Council meetings, I still get the groans and sense of disbelief I might not be here at Yosemite in two weeks' time. 

And though I've said it a hundred times, I still have that disbelief myself. Seriously, this place is my home. Walking up the front steps, saying hi to the front desk worker when I walk in, checking my mail in the box labeled 83E, making the trek up the seemingly endless stairs to my floor, then finally opening up the door to find my roommate passed out on his bed at all hours of the day, or to see a few guys in there playing FIFA on the Playstation...I mean, it's just a part of me now. It's a part of what I do every day, and living here has defined such a huge part of college so far.

---------------------------------------------------

"Dude, that'd be crazy if you didn't live here next quarter. Like seriously, it'd just be like so different," my roommate said.

"Yeah, I know. I can't imagine it either."

"Like, you'd be living in another hall? That's all people of one major? It'd just be boring."

"Ha, they can't be that bad. I mean, the guy on the phone said there aren't many drug and alcohol problems there, so it'll be an easy gig."

---------------------------------------------------

Wait, gig. That reminded me. Winter quarter open mic night was in two days. I wouldn't be playing in spring open mic night if I took the job. That made me sad. I probably wouldn't even be there for it....bizarre. And so I did the one thing I do when I need to get emotions out. When stress takes over. When it's too much to handle.

I played guitar. I finished that song, and didn't mess up a chord.

Not even one.